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A Guide to the Work of Linden Ashby (as of the winter fall of 2007) (What follows is a review of all of Linden’s works in reverse chronological order in keeping with the format established on the “Internet Movie Database”. Although details on plot, co-stars, etc. are readily available elsewhere on the web, most notably on the IMDb, what makes our reviews unique is our focus on how much of Linden’s incredible body is visible in each of his projects. If you want more specific details, or if what we’ve written is unclear, feel free to contact us at <thefunk@lindenashby.com> and we will attempt to answer your questions to the best of our ability.) 2008 (pre-production/production/post-production/completed) Breaking Point Announced as a direct-to-video release for 2008, “Breaking Point” is about a female beach volleyball player (Melissa Keller) being seduced by a stalker (Brian Austin Green) posing as a sports journalist. Linden’s character, Det. Adams, presumably will solve the case and ultimately save the damsel in distress. Note to producers: have Linden go undercover as a male volleyball player—wearing nothing but a one-inch speedo—to investigate the situation and ultimately catch the bad guy or at least have him play the team’s coach—also wearing a tiny speedo and showing the youngsters how to play the game! Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra In April 2006, it was announced that Linden would have a small part in “Rambo 4” playing a character named Col. Dwyer. Subsequently the original script was jettisoned, so Linden’s participation in this film is unclear at this point. The movie is currently scheduled to begin filming in Thailand on 28 February 2007 with a release date of early 2008. for release on 25 January 2008 and the available online trailer neither shows Linden in the preview nor his name in the title credits. 2007 (production/post-production/completed) My Neighbour’s Keeper A woman, Kate Powell (Laura Harring), takes over the care of the two children of her best friend and next-door-neighbour when her neighbour is murdered. Linden plays Mike Harding, the children’s father and on again/off again suspect in his wife’s death. This is the fourth made-for-Lifetime-TV movie that Linden has made in the last couple of years, and the first one where he finally takes off his shirt! With only about five minutes left in the movie, our prayers are answered and the long awaited scene occurs! Linden looks absolutely astonishing standing in front of the bathroom mirror, a towel wrapped low around his narrow hips, his mighty arms high in the air as he blow dries his hair. His magnificent upper body fills the screen: his right bicep bounces up and down, his shoulders, pecs and both his upper and lower stomach muscles are all well lit and clearly visible! Although this amazing scene is all too brief—and is still a far cry from the “posing and flexing while wearing a one-inch speedo” fantasy of our dreams—it could reasonably be argued that this is the best Linden shirtless scene to date! “My Neighbour’s Keeper” was filmed in British Columbia, Canada in March 2007 and premiered on Lifetime-TV on June 18, 2007. A DVD release has yet to be announced. History on a [sic] Iron Horse This is a yet unsold TV pilot for an “on the road astride a Harley Davidson” reality themed show that visits different attractions in the US. The show went to Tombstone, AZ during the town’s 125th year commemorative celebration of the infamous “gunfight at the OK Corral” in the fall of 2006 where Linden, attending the festivities as one of the actors from “Wyatt Earp”, was interviewed for the show on-camera. Dead Mule Suitcase Currently in production, this movie is the brain child of Robin Shou who wrote, directs, and stars as Jack Lam in this tale of a rogue DEA agent whose partner disappears while working undercover in Thailand. Jack enters the Thai underworld, a world of Pilipino stick fighting and drug trafficking where tourists are used as drug mules. Linden plays a character named Harvey who becomes a mentor to Jack, essentially replacing his missing partner. Reportedly, Linden’s role is “pretty substantial with lots of action”. Interestingly, Keith Cooke (MK1 and 2) and Ray Park (MK2) are also in the cast. Hong Kong and Beijing to film Resident Evil : Extinction Filmed in Mexico in 2006, this 3rd instalment of the RE franchise again stars Milla Jovovich as “Alice”. and was released in the US on 21 September 2007. Linden plays a “rugged cowboy named Chase” in the film. He is a member of a convoy of survivors who meet up with Alice for the climactic battle scenes in Las Vegas against an army of super-zombies sent by the Umbrella Corporation to capture Alice. Linden spends the entire movie dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved plaid shirt—and in a few scenes, a faded blue denim jean jacket as well—and cowboy boots. The closest glimpse of skin is in Linden’s final fight scene when one of the zombies pulls on his shirt exposing a bit of his upper chest and his left shoulder for a brief instant. A DVD release has been announced for 1 January 2008. Linden was originally rumoured to play either a character named “Victor” or “Albert Wesker”, the main antagonist. However, it was subsequently confirmed in an interview in the August/September 2006 edition of “Westlake” magazine that Linden is playing a “rugged cowboy named Chase” in the film. Poor quality photos from the set—probably taken with a camera phone by an extra—show Linden in jeans, plaid shirt and cowboy boots—which means Linden could either be in his own “street clothes” or in wardrobe as the cowboy “Chase”. A release date of 21 September 2007 has been announced. Plot 7 Originally titled “Woodland Drive”, this movie, now titled “Plot 7”, was shot in July 2006 and is scheduled for release in the spring of 2007. 2008. The plot of this horror/psychological thriller involves an aspiring horror novelist who inherits the family cemetery and uses it as inspiration to write his first novel. Only later does he find that he’s also inherited the family legacy: madness. Linden portrays the lead character, “Richard McCarthy”. There are two sites where still photos and a trailer from this film can currently be found: <http://www.strangelandfilms.com/galleries/plot7/index.htm>, (the “Plot 7” gallery from the production company website), and <http://community.thelot.com/profiles/profile.aspx?un=Actionqueen>, the director’s blog. http://www.silverplanefilms.com/Plot7/index.html (the distributor’s, Silver Plane Films, official website). 2006 The Rival This made-for-Lifetime-TV movie, which premiered on 9 October 2006, deals with an upscale couple, George and Alice (Linden and Tracy Nelson) who hire a young woman named Jennifer (Heather Thom) to be the surrogate mother of the child they are unable to have without her help. Ultimately, Alice, an emotionally fragile woman with a troubled past, becomes convinced that George and Jennifer are going to run off together after the baby is born—and decides to make sure that doesn’t happen no matter what the cost. This is actually the 3rd movie Linden has made for Lifetime-TV in less than 18 months: besides “A Killer Upstairs”, which also starred Tracy Nelson and was written and directed by the same people who made this film, he also starred in “Maid of Honour” earlier this year with Linda Purl. Unfortunately, “three wasn’t a charm” and, just like in the other two films, Linden didn’t take his shirt off and share his magnificent body with his adoring fans in this movie either! We did get a couple of quick glimpses of his magnificent biceps though, and a couple of well-fitted casual shirts that hinted at the spectacular body underneath. “The Rival” is scheduled to be was released on DVD on 17 April 2007. Last Exit This film is the story of two Canadian women—one a single mother struggling to support her handicapped son, the other a working mother and wife—who become involved in an incident of road rage that ends in an horrific accident after the married woman cuts the other off in rush hour traffic on a hot and smoggy summer day. Linden plays Scott, the husband of the married woman, portrayed by Andrea Roth (who previously starred opposite Linden in “Dangerous Attraction”), and doesn’t get much airtime in this film. Whilst it would have been absolutely brilliant if Linden and Andrea had repeated their incredibly hot sex scene from their first film, we do get a really nice scene of Linden in a t-shirt which shows off his beautiful biceps and impressive pecs plus another scene where he’s wearing a well-fitted dress shirt. “Last Exit”—made for CTV, Canada—premiered in the US on Lifetime-TV on 9 July 2006 and was distributed by the same company that distributed three other recent Linden films—“A Woman Hunted”, “A Killer Upstairs”, and “Maid of Honour”—all of which first premiered on cable station Lifetime-TV and were then released on DVD about six months later. “Last Exit”, however, has not yet been released on DVD as of this writing. Maid of Honour In this made for Lifetime-TV movie, Linden plays Richard Wynn, a newly widowed father of two whose deceased wife’s sister to moves into his house to help raise his children. All goes well for a couple of years until Laci, played by Linda Purl, discovers that Linden’s character is planning to marry again—turns out she has been obsessed with Richard all along and will do anything, including murder, to prevent loosing him to another woman. As sad as that scenario may be, the real heartbreak here is that Linden’s only shirtless scene is limited to a dimly lit glimpse of his arm and shoulder resting above the bed covers whilst he is on his side asleep. This is the second time in the last year that a made-for-Lifetime-TV movie—the other being “A Killer Upstairs”—has failed to take advantage of Linden’s magnificent body and kept him covered up in clothing throughout the entire film! There are, however, a couple of scenes—a thin sweater pulling across his chest and stomach as he walks out of the house or while walking down the aisle wearing a tux with a tightly fitted vest—that remind us what an truly phenomenal body this man has. Sadly, as in way too many of Linden’s movies, way too much is left up to our imaginations! Interestingly, there are a couple of extra scenes—and an extended version of one scene—in the DVD release that weren’t in the on-air version. While Linden is in two extra scenes so, unfortunately, are all his clothes! 2005 Subzero After a terrorist plane carrying a triggering device for a doomsday satellite weapon crashes into Mt. Everest, a team of civilian mountain climbers is enlisted by the military to retrieve the mechanism. Despite bitter cold, the threat of an impending blizzard, and a devastating avalanche, they race to recover the device before a group of Russian terrorists does. While this movie is a fairly exciting fast-paced thriller, regrettably none of the thrills are due to seeing any part of Linden’s gorgeous body other than his beautiful face! Sadly, Linden spends the majority of the movie dressed for the “subzero” weather on the mountain—even in his few brief indoor scenes his fantastic body is tragically hidden under his clothing! A Killer Upstairs This made-for-Lifetime-TV movie involves a mother trying to prove that her teenage son did not kill the much older woman with whom he was sexually involved. Linden appears about half way through the film playing a character named Lyle Banner, “the real killer”. While Linden is “smokin’ hot” in this role,—and even takes a 2x4 across the abs in one scene—it is left up to your imagination to envision how magnificent he looks without all those damn clothes! Wild Things 3: Diamonds in the Rough Linden reprised his role as Detective Michael Morrison in this third instalment of the “Wild Things” films. In this film, Linden’s role is much expanded and much more critical to the plot line than it was in “Wild Things 2”. Although there is one scene that promises to show Linden without his shirt on, Linden and the female lead are interrupted just before his shirt comes off. Nevertheless, there are a few quick glimpses of his mighty biceps in this film. 2004 The Young and the Restless While visiting his wife, Susan Walters, on the set of Y&R during the fall of 2003, Linden was offered the role of Cameron Kirsten, an extremely wealthy software magnate who becomes sexually obsessed with one of the daytime soap opera’s main characters. Linden’s first appearance was on 21 November 2003 and was scheduled to end with his murder on New Year’s Eve. The producers decided to extend the storyline, however, and Linden continued to appear on Y&R until 12 August 2004. Unfortunately, the only time we got to see Linden shirtless was in a flashback scene shot through a heavy “fog” filter—and, to make matters even worse, Linden was in the background! Wild Things 2 Linden plays Detective Morrison, the “burned-out” civil servant who investigates the death of the extremely wealthy step-father of the film’s star, Susan Ward. As it turns out, Susan’s character is part of a scheme with several other people to defraud the insurance company. While Linden looks gorgeous as always, he unfortunately spends the entire movie in a jacket and tie. 2003 The Company You Keep According to the IMDb, Linden plays “Harry, a world-weary career criminal masquerading as a priest, takes to the road with escaped convict Nate and Nate’s jailbait girlfriend, Angel. Their only common bond is the vague promise of riches at the end of their journey as they try to stay one step ahead of Santiago, a violent gangster out for their blood and gaining on them all the time.” Although this film has not yet been released, for a while the following link, which seems to currently be inoperative, used to take you to the distribution company’ website: <http://www.fusionsales.com/feature_films/company_you_keep/company_you_keep.html# >. The great thing about this site was that there was a picture of the DVD cover plus a film trailer—and the trailer provided a couple of spectacular shots of Linden’s mind-boggling body! In one scene Linden is actually shirtless—but would you believe his magnificent upper body is “decorated” with lots of “jail house ink” (a bit like “decorating” the Sistine Chapel with a can of spray paint!). In another scene Linden is wearing a short sleeved shirt with a noose around his neck and his arms overhead (apparently holding onto a tree branch)—giving the viewer great shots of the silky smooth skin on the inside of those massive biceps! On July 22, 2007, we were informed by the director that a website (with trailer) will be up “soon” and that the film is scheduled for a DVD release in the fall of 2007. As of this writing, however, there has been no additional information. Shrink Rap From the “Shrink Rap” website: “The lives of a glamorous Hollywood couple are turned upside down in a weekend when the bartender hired for their party turns out to be a student therapist...who won’t go home. He helps them with their problems, even though he doesn't know what he's doing.” Linden is Brian, the male half of the Hollywood couple, an alcoholic soap opera actor who is currently playing a “hunky hairdresser” on TV. In this truly funny comedy, Linden has several scenes where his magnificent body is clearly visible and seen to good advantage: in bed, walking around with an open shirt, in the shower, with a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. All that is missing is the fantasy scene of Linden in a one-inch speedo flexing his magnificent biceps! Although some boot-legged copies had become available earlier, “Shrink Rap” was finally officially released on DVD in March of 2006. A Woman Hunted In this film, co-starring Alexandra Paul, Linden plays Detective Webster the cop investigating Alexandra’s character for the alleged murder of a professional baseball player who attempted to rape her. There is only one quick scene where Linden is less than fully dressed: in his first scene, Linden is sitting in bed in an undershirt while talking on the telephone, giving us a nice shot of his gorgeous arms and shoulders. 2002 Fits and Starts In this romantic comedy, Linden and Holland Taylor (who is nearly 20 years older) play the principals in a “May-September” romance who have difficulty finding acceptance among their family and friends. While we have not seen this film, what better way to emphasize Linden and Holland’s age difference than to have Linden walking around in a teeny-weeny little speedo? Sniper 2 In this sequel, Linden plays Marine Colonel Dan McKenna who, along with a CIA operative, is the behind the scene “brains” orchestrating a sniper mission by Tom Berenger and Bokeem Woodbine to eliminate a Serbian general in an un-named Balkan county who is performing ethnic cleansing of the Muslim population. Linden remains in his military uniform throughout the film, but at least it is short-sleeved and tightly fitted, hinting at the glorious muscles beneath. Whacked! This annoying so-called “action/comedy” is about two adopted brothers—one a killer for the mob, one a killer for the CIA. The plot device that helps them work out their “issues” is where Linden comes into the story. Linden plays a CIA bigwig named Bolan who is embezzling funds, gets involved in a far-fetched mob plot, kidnapping, ransom and a double cross. At the end of the film, Linden gets into a brief martial arts fight with one of the bothers. As hard as it is to believe—remember Linden plays the “bad guy” in this movie—he actually looses the fight! How unbelievable and unrealistic is that! Now all of this might be bearable if Linden had at least shown off his splendid body, but, to add insult to injury, Linden’s beautiful body is covered in a suit throughout the entire film! 2001 Facing the Enemy “Facing the Enemy” originally began production in November of 2000 as “Dead Wrong” and co-stars Alexandra Paul. The plot revolves around Linden’s character, Griff McCleary, a police detective working on a murder-suicide investigation while also dealing with his disintegrating marriage following the accidental death of his young son. Although this film has a fairly predictable plot line, there is still plenty of dramatic tension building to the inevitable climax to make this a thoroughly enjoyable film experience. Disappointingly though, this is not the best movie for Linden-body watchers: we only get to see a couple of quick glimpses of Linden’s fabulous arms while in bed and an even quicker shot of Linden pulling a shirt down over his glorious stomach muscles! 2000 Tick Tock The plot involves two women, Rachel and Carla, out on the town one night, who find themselves at a club where they meet Linden playing a cowboy named Travis. Eventually, Rachel and Travis end up in bed together. Meanwhile, a camera is steadily clicking away behind the closet door, recording their every move. As it turns out, Travis is part of a plan to blackmail Rachel of a small fortune. However, unknown to Travis, Carla has other plans for him—and helping her is an unlikely ally that complicates this murder mystery. There are more twists in this plot than in a bag of pretzels! While the DVD version is “letterboxed” and appears to have been filmed as a wide screen movie, closer examination reveals that the VHS version actually contains more information! It looks as though they originally filmed it in the “TV aspect ratio” and then cut off the top and bottom of the frame so that the DVD version appears in the “movie aspect ratio”! So folks, while the quality of the DVD picture is, obviously, superior to the VHS picture, the trade-off is loosing a major amount of Linden’s magnificent body in many shots. While not an issue in scenes where Linden is lying in bed, this is a serious and most painful problem in the standing shirtless scene—what, oh what, were these people thinking? The solution? Buy both! This movie is also sometimes shown on regular cable-TV under the title “A Friendship to Die For”, re-edited to remove some suggestive dialogue and (female) nudity but with a few additional scenes added to clarify the plotline. Either version is definitely a really enjoyable flick with Linden, of course, not only excellent in his role, but strikingly gorgeous with—and without—his clothes on. And, as in “Beauty”, he is sporting a goatee! The War Next Door Linden had another short-lived series called “The War Next Door” starting in the summer of 2000. Linden played Kennedy Smith, a retired CIA agent who moves to the suburbs with his wife—played by real life wife, Susan Walters—and kids. His life long nemesis then moves in next-door and the battle continues without his wife or kids having a clue—yes, it is a comedy. Only eight episodes were broadcast in the US, but all 13 have been broadcast on European TV. Besides being an extremely hilarious show, it is also an incredible opportunity to see Linden’s magnificent body! There are glimpses of Linden’s arms and/or stomach muscles in almost every episode during the weekly martial arts fights with Kriegman, played by the very funny Damian Young. There are many other noteworthy scenes as well. One is where Linden is playing basketball and, during two different jump shots, clearly displays his superb lower stomach muscles: with his jeans riding low on his beautiful narrow hips, four to five inches of Linden’s flawless stomach is visible below his navel just barely revealing his tan lines! And that’s not all: there are actually five episodes where Linden is either shirtless, in a bathing suit—albeit hardly a one-inch speedo—or wrapped only in a towel! These include awesome shots of Linden’s stupendous shoulders, pecs, stomach and arms. While we still dream of seeing Linden in a full, hard double bicep flex, the size and beauty of Linden biceps in some of these shots is completely beyond belief! The only bicep in all eternity that could possibly compete with Linden’s right bicep is…Linden’s left bicep; the only bicep in all eternity that could possibly compete with Linden’s left bicep is…Linden’s right bicep! 1999 Dangerous Attraction "Dangerous Attraction is one Linden’s best dramatic performances to date. In this erotic thriller, also starring Andrea Roth, Linden plays two characters, Neil and Dan Paterson. Neil is a hot sexy psychopath with a Southern accent and Linden’s normal blue eyes and dark blond hair; Dan is Andrea’s shy mild mannered co-worker "disguised" with glasses, brown contacts, very blond hair, and no accent. If there was ever any doubt that Linden can act—we all know he can do the "erotic" part quite well, thank you—there won’t be after seeing this film! We know you will enjoy this one since it is both a great opportunity to see Linden's body and is, incidentally, a damn good flick as well! Of special interest, of course, is a scene which has very little to do with Linden's abilities as an actor: the psycho personality in a phenomenal stand-up sex scene ending with Linden pulling on a pair of black jeans over his beautiful naked ass the next morning. Hot, hot, hot!!! Judgment Day The plot of this doomsday thriller goes something like this: Suzy Amis plays an FBI agent, who along with a convicted felon, sets out to rescue Linden, playing a scientist named Dr. David Corbett, who is being help captive by a religious cult. Linden holds the key to saving the planet from destruction by an approaching meteorite, but the cult wants to keep this information from the government. Linden’s character, while obviously central to the movie, was rather bland and his wardrobe really sucked—get those images of a naked Linden tied to the rack being tortured out of your mind, he wears a blue denim shirt and a pair of khakis throughout the film! Although, we must admit there were a couple of scenes where Linden’s exquisite ass was clearly visible through those khakis, we still prefer Linden in roles where he is more physically active and, obviously, wearing less clothes—the less the better! Hey, let’s face it, any movie where Linden doesn’t take his shirt off is a big disappointment! The Time of Her Time This very sensual film based on the Norman Mailer novella was produced in 1997 but wasn’t released until 1999—and, although it hasn’t yet appeared in the US, it has been shown on a number of European cable systems and is available for purchase in Europe. In this film, which takes place in 1959 in Greenwich Village, NYC at the dawn of the sexual revolution, Linden plays Sergius O’Shaughnessy, a former matador. Leslie Bega co-stars as Denise, a young middle class woman in her third year at New York University, who is sexually experienced, but has never achieved an orgasm. Linden, who uses his experience in the bullring as a metaphor for his sexual conquests, succeeds in bringing her to “her time”! Linden spends a good deal of time in this movie without a shirt on—either in bed working to bring the character of Denise to orgasm or having just gotten out of bed and having slipped on nothing but a pair jeans. There are also some incredible scenes with Linden in a short sleeved T-shirt that really show off his magnificent arms! Where the Truth Lies In this made for Lifetime-TV movie, originally titled “Ninety Days at Hollyridge”, Linden plays the DA, Carter Tamiran, who had previously been romantically involved with the high powered defence attorney who is defending a deaf woman against the charge of having murdered her mentor, a US Senator. This scenario, revealed early in the film, could easily have justified some flashbacks to Linden and the actress portraying the defence attorney in situations where Linden’s extraordinary body could have been shown to good advantage. Instead, the best we get is Linden in a couple of scenes where he isn’t wearing his suit jacket but is still wearing a long sleeved shirt and tie! Of minor interest, nevertheless, is the scene where Linden questions the victim’s daughter-in-law, played by Susan Walters, on the witness stand at the climatic trial. In this film, both Linden and Susan have the very Southern accents they both spent so much time loosing years ago! 1998 Murder She Purred: A Mrs. Murphy Mystery Linden plays a criminal psychologist, Blair Bainbridge, Ph.D., who moves from New York to a small town in Virginia to start his life over after a mysterious incident in his past. Then a murder occurs and the local postmistress, played by Ricki Lake, who is also an amateur sleuth, sets out to find the killer. She is assisted in this task by a bunch of talking animals, most importantly her cat and dog. This is a very cute made-for-TV Disney movie. Linden said he did this movie because “I have kids and to do something for them was a real treat. It was a really fun script, and I figured my kids would love it.” There are some scenes where Linden looks really hot—chopping wood, wearing a short-sleeved shirt while casting a fishing rod, wearing a vested tux, in white tights mounting his horse while riding to the hounds—but sadly he’s always completely dressed. Beauty When this movie was first announced, we thought it might be a real possibility that they had given it a true 90’s face and reversed the roles—with Linden’s character, Mark Kramer, being “the beauty”! Not much of a stretch at all since Linden is so numbingly beautiful, but as Linden chuckled: “And, like I have to say this, but she is the beauty, not me. It's a modern-day ‘Beauty and The Beast’ story. I play her boyfriend, and she finds true love with this other guy, a beast.” There is just no accounting for some people’s taste! This film was a made for CBS-TV movie. Although Linden sports a goatee in this film, he is, unfortunately, fully dressed in all his scenes. The Lake In this made for NBC-TV movie Linden plays Jeff, a doctor who becomes re-involved with his high school sweetheart, played by Jasmine Bleeth, when she returns to her small rural hometown to care for her dying father. Coinciding with her return, the town has become a conduit for people from a parallel world who begin replacing the town’s inhabitants. When we first read about this movie awhile before it aired, we got really excited picturing lakeside beaches and Linden in a little one-inch speedo. Sadly, that was hardly the case! Still, the man is so beautiful that he is unbelievably exciting even with his clothes on! And if you look closely, you can usually see his arms, pecs or stomach straining through the material of whatever clothing he's wearing. In "The Lake" for instance, in Linden's first scene there is a great shot of his bicep through his jacket—amazing what treasures you can find while going through this stuff one frame at a time! 1997 Shelter Linden plays Jimmy, an ATF agent and partner of his old buddy, and star of the movie, John Allen Nelson. Linden is killed off early in this film, again portrays a character with a Southern accent, and again keeps his clothes on throughout his scenes. Moreover, we could easily have seen the roles being reversed with Linden being the star of this flick—especially since the lead takes off his clothes a couple of different times during the film! Cadillac Ranch “Cadillac Ranch” co-stars Suzy Amis, who was also in "Judgment Day" and in "The Beneficiary". In this movie, Linden plays Beau, a Texan who owns a gas station, is a part time poet, and who gets involved with three sisters running from a renegade Texas Ranger. Linden appears about 45 minutes into the movie with his sleeves rolled up high on his awesome biceps and his shirt unbuttoned down to the 4th button. The bicep shots and the glimpses of his chest are incredible, but the highlight of the film is the motel room scene where he is shirtless, well lighted, and in full view! You get three very different shots: sideways walking across the room, turning into the camera on his way to sitting on the bed—completely visible only on the DVD version—and, later, standing at the side of the bed! You’ll want to review this scene with your single frame advance about a million times, guaranteed! Spy Game This wonderful tongue-in-cheek TV-series premiered on ABC-TV in March of ’97 and was cancelled after only three episodes, but six more episodes were later shown that summer. The premise was that even though the Cold War was over, all the world’s unemployed spies were still up to no good. One of the world’s best, the somewhat jaded Lorne Cash, played by Linden, was drafted back into service by the top secret agency, E.C.H.O. and assigned a young enthusiastic female partner. Although there are numerous exciting scenes with glimpses of Linden’s stomach and arms during various martial arts encounters, of special interest is episode number 10, “Well, Nothing to Fear but Death Itself”, which was never aired in the US though it has been widely broadcast in Europe. Linden and his partner—Max, short for Maxine—are trapped in a tiny room that keeps getting smaller and smaller and hotter and hotter as the walls close in. Early on, Linden starts to pull his sweater over his head—of course, we were having apoplexy expecting any second to see his magnificent naked upper body! But no, he’s wearing an undershirt! This is especially annoying since, when catching glimpses of both Linden’s exquisite stomach muscles and back during previous episodes, he never ever wore an undershirt! Nevertheless, his hot sweating arms and shoulders and that skin-tight undershirt clinging to his pecs and stomach are still beyond belief!!! The Beneficiary In this made for HBO movie, Linden plays Jimmy Price, a police detective who, along with his partner, Suzy Amis, investigates the murder of a friend, becomes involved with the friend’s wife who is also the prime suspect, etc. etc. There is a lengthy scene of Linden in a sleeveless shirt swinging a baseball bat in a batters’ cage, taking to Suzy, gathering up his stuff, walking over to his car, and putting his stuff into the trunk of the car. Linden’s arms are truly mind-boggling in this scene—shoulders, biceps, triceps, all those perfect muscles in motion! There is no scene, however, of a standing shirtless Linden displaying his magnificent body. But there are a couple of super hot sex scenes with excellent views of Linden’s fabulous body! The scenes of Linden in bed with "the wife", played by Stacy Haiduk, are so exciting mere words fail us! Melrose Place Linden played Brett “Coop” Cooper, M.D., during the sixth season of this popular night time soap opera that aired on FOX-TV and chronicled the interwoven lives of a group of successful thirty-something year old professionals living in the same Los Angeles apartment complex. Linden valiantly tried to make a poorly written and unfocused character work. For most of the first half of the season, the writers portrayed Coop as a sneaky, conniving character who had come to town to settle a grudge with one of the other doctors. Although this plotline was never fully resolved, Coop then became romantically involved with Megan and became a “good guy” for several months. Then as the season was drawing to a close, the writers again turned Coop back into a conniving, sneaky character and wrote him out of the show! It wasn’t until Linden became a good guy and got romantically involved with Megan that we finally saw him without a shirt on. In an episode called “Amanda’s Back”, broadcast on 12 January 12, 1998, we have the infamous “towel wrapped low around his waist” scene where Linden’s hair is combed forward like an ancient Roman and his glorious muscles glisten in the sun light like a Greco-Roman god who had just stepped off Mt. Olympus! Sheer perfection! Unfortunately, with the exception of that first time he showed his stupendous body, we never got a full, unobstructed, well lighted shot of Linden unless he was fully dressed! Of course, we find Linden an unbelievable turn-on even with his clothes on, but a man who has "the face of an angel and the body of a god" should never be allowed to wear clothes! 1996 Blast For fans of Linden as a martial artist, "Blast" is another movie where Linden gets to demonstrate his martial arts talents. As Jack Bryant, Linden portrays a former Olympic medallist who has fallen on hard times and is working as a janitor at the aquatic centre where his ex-wife is the trainer for the Atlanta Olympics women’s swim team. Despite showing Linden at his athletic best, once again the shirt never came off even though there is a scene showing Linden getting out of bed at the very beginning of the movie which would have been an obvious time to showcase his awesome body. And, just to add insult to injury, Linden has said in a couple of interviews that he sleeps in the nude—how’s that for a mental image! Dark Angel In this made for FOX-TV movie, a series pilot, Linden portrays Harry Foley, the police detective partner of star Eric Roberts. The movie takes place in New Orleans and deals with the investigation of the murders of a series of young women. Linden, as always, looks absolutely gorgeous in this movie but we never see him wearing less than a shirt and tie, and usually a sports jacket as well! 1995 Mortal Kombat As everyone knows, Linden played Johnny Cage in this movie, a Hollywood actor anxious to prove himself “the real thing”. Linden, along with Robin Shou and Bridgette Wilson, travel to a remote island to compete in the Shaolin tournament that will determine the fate of the world. Linden is so mind bogglingly sexy when he's doing martial arts with that silky shirt pulling tightly against his chest, stomach, and arms! It was not, of course, as good as no shirt at all, but he did look unbelievably stunning in this movie! The least they could have done, however, was have Linden shirtless when he fought Goro, especially considering Johnny Cage doesn’t wear a shirt in the video game! 1994 8 Seconds Uh, afraid you're going to be disappointed in this one also known as “The Lane Frost Story”. Linden has little more than a "bit part", playing Martin Hudson, a cowboy who is the ex-flame of the wife of the title character. Not only doesn’t Linden take his shirt off, he doesn’t have much screen time either. There's truly nothing worse than getting all revved up looking forward to seeing that magnificent body and only getting a few scenes where Linden doesn't so much as take his shirt off! Slaughter of the Innocents Linden has only a bit part as Officer Olmon, a cop who answers a call to rescue a young girl from a devil worship/psycho/cult house. His most revealing pose is a glimpse up the sleeve of his police uniform. Wyatt Earp In this film, Linden gives a fine performance as Morgan Earp, the charming but youthfully reckless youngest brother of Wyatt Earp, the famous western lawman. This was Linden’s first big-budget mainstream Hollywood venture co-starring with such Hollywood heavy weights as Kevin Costner, Gene Hackman, and Dennis Quaid. Unfortunately, none of Linden’s “youthful recklessness” put him in situations where he took off his clothes on-camera! Green Dolphin Beat This ensemble police drama, which premiered on FOX-TV, was originally shot as a pilot for a TV series, though never picked up. Linden portrays an ex-New York policeman, Dave Henderson, with a “dark secret” who is now a police detective in the violent crimes division of an unidentified American city. This film is also known as “Green Dolphin Street” and, while it has not been available in the US, it was released in Hungary in September 2005. 1992 Fifteenth Phase of the Moon In this 30-minute movie made for the cable-TV network “Showtime”, Linden plays a drifter named Jason who takes a job as a dishwasher in a luncheonette owned by a Mexican immigrant and his wife. Their daughter, like all 1st generation Americans, is torn between her obligations/loyalty to her family and her desire for a very different life than the one her parents have. Linden serves both as her sexual fantasy and as the catalyst for her break from her family. Linden is super hot in this movie—he wears a T-shirt throughout which shows off his awesome arms and which is also pulled tightly across his stomach in a couple of scenes! And he even appears shirtless in two fantasy scenes and in a scene where he’s shaving—all in a film that is a mere 28 minutes and 44 seconds long! Inside Out III—“Tango” segment This 90-minute film is number three in a 4-part series of Playboy videos that originally aired on Showtime. There are 9 erotic vignettes in each film depicting various romantic, dramatic, and comedic themes. Linden is in a comedic segment titled "Tango" that is a mere eight minutes long and approximately 50 minutes into the film. Linden, wearing black leather pants and jacket, plays a "shock jock" comedian named Jerry Van Anthony who ends up in a stalled elevator with a famous feminist. Initially Linden continues his rude/crude shtick but then their roles suddenly, and surprisingly, reverse. Despite the fact that Linden partially loses his shirt following the role reversal, most of the real action actually takes place off-camera during the time lapse fade near the end of the segment. Nevertheless, there are some great shots of Linden's stupendous body…but, as usual, this film still leaves you wanting more—much, much more! Into the Sun Linden has a nice turn as Dragon, a mercenary fighter pilot working for an unnamed Arab strongman. The character is a bit of a drug-using psycho—quite a change from Linden’s usual heroic roles! Nevertheless he is totally believable in this role, again a testament to his versatility and talent as an actor. There is one scene of Linden in a rather short-sleeved T-shirt and a couple of scenes in a fighter pilot jumpsuit that will definitely get your attention! 1991 The Perfect Bride This made-for-TV suspense film stars Linden as Ted, the unsuspecting husband-to-be of the psychotic Sammi Davis who, despite several attempts, never quite seems to make it to the altar. There is a scene of Linden in bed with good views of his shoulders, arms, and upper abs and an incredibly exciting scene of Linden at his bachelor’s party. In this scene, Linden does a modified strip down to his boxer shorts, does a partial flex of his magnificent biceps while dancing around onstage, stands off-stage watching the dancer perform, and finally ends up wrestling on the floor with “the entertainment”! A word of caution, however: in this film Linden’s stomach tends to be just a bit soft, his body isn’t quite as lean, hard, and muscular as we have come to expect. Not that we’re complaining, Linden in this movie is still better than any other man in all eternity…except for the more recent Linden Ashby! 1990 Mr. and Mrs. Bridge Although Linden is listed in all of his filmographies as being in this film, we have never been able to spot him despite multiple efforts. This film, set in the 1930’s, is about the stilted upper middle class life of Mr. and Mrs. Bridge as played by Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. The story involves India Bridge’s sense that her life has been totally meaningless and the rebellion of her three children against the values of their traditional and conservative father. If Linden is truly in this film it must be in a brief scene shot heavily in shadow of three young men talking in a car—one of the voices “could” be Linden’s—or as one of the “crowd” in either a movie theatre or in a dance scene. Night Angel In this erotic horror film, released in the UK under the title “Hellborn”, Linden stars as Craig, the art director for “Siren” a glamour magazine that is in danger of being taken over by Lilith, a mythological demon come to life. This film has numerous scenes of Linden showing his body to good advantage. There are several bicep shots including one where Linden, wearing a jacket, reaches his hand up to push his cap off his head and in the process pops his left bicep; Linden in bed rubbing his head which in turn pops his left bicep—this scene, however, is shot so obliquely that his magnificent muscle is not clearly visible; Linden lying down in the back seat of a car with his right bicep popped but half covered by his shirt as he presses his hand against his head; Linden lying on his back on the ground, cradled by his girlfriend, with his dark and partially obstructed right bicep in what appears to be a full flex, as they back away from the demon! As totally mind-boggling as the bicep shots are, there is more! We also have Linden in bed with the sheets covering his navel, but exposing his shoulders, arms, pecs, and upper abs; Linden taking his turtleneck sweater off over his head, though most of his exquisite body is obscured by the actress in the scene, followed by a kneeling love scene where Linden’s beautiful ass is clearly visible along with his perfect arms and the side of his flawless chest; and, finally the second naked ass shot as Linden gets out of bed and walks across the room to retrieve a magazine! 1987 Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story This made-for-TV mini-series frequently shows up on a US cable network called "WE", "Women's Entertainment". This is the first project Linden did within a couple of weeks of moving to Hollywood. Linden, playing the adult Lance, is introduced 35 minutes into Part II in a scene where he dives into the pool, swims across, gets out, towels off, and has breakfast with his mother Barbara Hutton, as played by Farrah Fawcett! Although Linden was 27 at the time this mini-series was filmed, he is supposed to be only 17 in this scene. While Linden’s face may have passed for a teenager’s, his body definitely was like no teenager—or adult man—we’ve ever seen before or since! On the downside, however, he was not wearing the fantasy one-inch speedo of our dreams, but a non-descript red/yellow/black plaid mid-thigh length bathing suit. Nevertheless, even though Linden has only about 12 minutes of screen time in the entire film, those two minutes in the bathing suit are so extraordinarily exciting they cannot be missed! 1985 Loving This is the daytime soap opera where Linden and Susan met. Linden was the second actor to play Curtis Alden, Susan’s cousin. He appeared on this show for about a year and a half. Although we have seen only one old taped episode where Linden was wearing heavy winter clothing, it seems reasonable to assume that Linden, like most young actors on daytime soap operas, must have taken his shirt off a number of times in this role. TV Guest Appearances 1. “CSI: Miami” Linden appeared in episode #4.5, “Three-Way”, on 17 October 2005, playing Steven Hardy, the husband of one of three women suspected of murder. Despite the patently suggestive episode title, there are, alas, no scenes of Linden involved in a “ménage-a-trios”. 2. “Eyes" Linden appeared in episode #1.5, “Shots”, on 27 April 2005, playing Michael Tobin, the on-again-off-again boyfriend of one of the series regulars (Laura Leighton). Linden’s role was supposed to be a recurring one—and he did appear in unaired episode #1.9, “Police” and, again, briefly at the end of un-aired episode #1.13, “Poison”—but, regrettably, this rather smart, fast paced series was cancelled following the airing of episode #1.5. 3. “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” Linden appeared in episode #3.4, “A Little Murder”, on 17 October 2002, playing Detective Wolf. He was involved in a secondary plotline featuring series regular Marg Helgenberger. 4. “Agency, The” Linden made two appearances on this TV series, the second one on 8 November 2001 in episode #1.6, “Anthrax”. In both episodes he played Jeff Lowell, the estranged husband of series regular Paige Turco. 5. “Agency, The” Linden’s first appearance was on 25 October 2001 in episode #1.4, “In Our Own Backyard”. Oddly enough these episodes are out-of-order, but that is only evident if you pay attention to the scenes involving Linden’s character. 6. “Table for Two” During the filming of “The War Next Door” in Toronto, Canada, Linden made two appearances on Canadian TV. On this show, which aired on 31 December 2000, Linden is interviewed by hostess Joanne Meral, helps Joanne and the guest chef prepare a meal and then he and Joanne continue their conversation while they eat the meal. 7. “Men-on-Women” While working in Canada, Linden also appeared on “the show for women who don’t understand men” on 6 November 2000 with hostess Mag Ruffman. Mag interviews Linden plus two non-actor men regarding various relationship issues in an extremely laid back, living room like setting with the three men seated on a couch. At one point, Linden reaches back behind his head with his right hand showing his phenomenal bicep straining through the material of his blue denim shirt! 8. “Love Boat: The Next Wave” Linden appeared in episode #2.6, “Bermuda Triangle”, on 13 November 1998, playing Lt. Joe Spenser, a rescued fighter pilot lost in the Triangle since 1940. There is a nice bicep shot as Linden salutes while still in the fighter pilot jumpsuit and a fairly erotic time-warp sequence with Linden dressed in Navy whites. Despite the fact that the pool is often so prominent in “Love Boat” episodes, Linden sadly never got near it nor dressed for it! 9. “Melrose Place” Linden made 2 pre-Coop appearances in this series playing Jo Reynolds’ alcoholic ex-husband, the second one in episode #1.20, “Peanut Butter and Jealousy”, on 13 January 1993. 10. “Melrose Place” In episode #1.19, “Single White Sister”, during the first year of “Melrose” on 6 January 1993, Linden made an appearance at the very end of the episode, as was identified the following week as Charles Reynolds. 11. “New Year” This was a pilot made for NBC-TV, somewhere between 1992 and 1994 and co-starred Jane Alexander and Stacy Keach. Linden is listed as a “series regular” on his official biography from the Metropolitan Talent Agency, but no other information is currently available. 12. “Equal Justice” Linden appeared as a guest star on this ABC-TV series in an episode titled “Sleeping with the Enemy” which aired on 9 January 1991. Despite the attention-grabbing episode title, Linden was the defendant in a trial and was only seen in the Court room dressed in a suit. 13. “MacGyver” Linden appeared in episode #6.4, “Twenty Questions”, on 8 October 1990 playing Brett Reynolds, a spoiled rich kid who masterminds house burglaries for kicks. There is actually one heart-stopping scene in this episode where Linden suggests that he and his friends go to the beach—unfortunately, when they get there all they do is sit around drinking beer while remaining fully clothed! 14. “Hardball” Linden appeared in episode #1.12, titled “Killer Date”, on 4 May 1990. In this episode one of the series leads, John Ashton, uses a computer dating service, gets shot at on the first date, a warning to pass on a second date, and goes to Las Vegas to get married. We have no information regarding Linden’s role other than his character’s name, Gary Henley. 15. “China Beach” In episode #2.17, “The World, Part II”, which took place stateside and aired on 3 May 1989, Linden appeared as Phillip, the leader of a small group of anti-war college students. After meeting series star Dana Delany in a bar while she is home on leave, they all sit around an outdoor table at night discussing the Viet Nam War. 16. “Werewolf” Linden only appeared briefly at the beginning of this pilot for the FOX-TV series, being killed by the werewolf shortly after picking up a young woman in a bar while they are attempting to drive out of the parking lot. This episode, #1.1, aired on 11 July 1987. 17. “1st & Ten” This series, a comedy about a fictitious professional American-football team, was made for HBO. Linden appeared in episode #4.10 titled “Blood on Blood” on 20 October 1987, playing the younger brother of one of the series regulars Linden sports a great big mop of very blond hair and, in a couple of scenes, a pair of shorts showing off his fine-looking legs. Nevertheless, he appears in a friggin’ shirt in every single scene—though in his first two scenes, it is pulled rather tightly across his awesome stomach muscles and, in a later scene, across his beautifully sculpted left shoulder and exquisitely chiselled left bicep! (28/7/04) Updated: 12/9/05 20/01/07 29/11/07 |
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